Unemployment is defined, by google, as “a person without a paid job but available to work” or “not in use.” What a crock of shit. Unemployment in my community is something to be celebrated and longed for like a graduation or retirement. The idea that we work Monday through Friday nine to five I think is just asinine. Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind working I actually quite enjoy it, most of my days at work are better than most people’s vacations. That being said the way that most people work in this country, in my opinion, is too much. Forty hours a week, fifty week a year for most people is just crazy; not to mention that most people spend their time looking to the future and longing for one of those weeks off. I know I do. Inevitably one will be taken in the summer and the other taken around the holidays. That’s fine, I’ve spent the last year of my life thinking nonstop about the future and the road trip Amy and I are taking: planning, saving, scrimping, and frankly distracting myself from my present moment. I do that often, wander off into my brain in order to avoid (consciously or not) any discomfort that I may be feeling here and now. The funny thing is that even now I know that I need a break from my job and to take some time to process my diagnosis, but then I feel fear about even doing that. Fear is a normal human emotion and that’s okay.
I was sitting at that base of my buddy’s project in Indian Creek and he asked if I wanted to meditate? While I was listening to the guided meditation the question was asked what was my intention for the meditation. Naturally I thought to be a better rock climber, but then I thought no that’s not good enough, my intention for that meditation and all my days since has been to be present in this and every moment (which I’m failing daily). The most important thing that I should remember is that it’s okay to oscillate from feeling excited to go back on the road and nervous about leaving a job that has ushered me into adulthood and taken care of me when I got sick. However, no one at the end of their life says I wish I hadn’t spent so much time traveling or I wish I had spent less time with my family. I’ve never met a retiree on a chair lift that said I wish I hadn’t skied so much. Absolutely not, that’s totally ridiculous. Word.